I stumbled across this excellent,albeit twisted and a tad sick, groaner that I thought twice about posting. However, I remembered that when the song "We Are the World" was recorded, Stevie Wonder told the artists assembled, "Y'all better sing good or Ray (Charles) and I are gonna drive you home!" If Stevie can laugh about his limitations so can I as I do about my own, I can certainly post this. Enjoy!
Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a restaurant having dinner. Woods asks Wonder and says, "How's the singing career going?"
Stevie Wonder replies, "Not too bad. How's the golf?"
Woods replies, "Not too bad, I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that going right now."
Stevie says, "I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it. Then, the next time I play, it seems to be all right."
Tiger says, "You play golf?"
Wonder says, "Oh, yes, I've been playing for years."
Woods says, "But you're blind! How can you play golf if you can't see?"
Wonder replies, "I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball toward him. Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddy moves to the green or farther down the fairway and again I play the ball toward his voice."
"But how do you putt?" asks Woods.
"Well," says Stevie, "I get my caddy to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground, and I just play the ball toward his voice."
Woods asks, "What's your handicap?"
Stevie says, "Well, I'm a scratch golfer."
Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie, "We've got to play a round sometime."
Wonder replies, "Well, people don't take me seriously, so I only play for money, and never play for less than $10,000 a hole."
Woods thinks about it and says, "OK, I'm for that, when would you like to play?"
Stevie says, "Pick a night.
(Ducking and running like hell!)