Part of why I've been away is that I've been kind of depressed by things in my so-called life as well as the headlines that land in my e-mailbox. The world can be a crazy and awful place -- and I'm not just talking. about politics.
I always hate the truly gory side of the news and ignore it if I can but when it comes to Ohio (yeah, boring old Ohio), and involves kids, it upsets me greatly. The Steubenville rape case has been all over the news (and viral on the Internet) and since it happened here in Ohio, I can't help but write about it.
The New York Times and The Daily Kos' coverage has been excellent and you can see it here and here. That such a thing has happened hurts me straight to the bone. I've always said that football is a religion in Ohio and this is its dark side. Needless to say it has a LOT of folks scurrying for cover right now as well as they should. That this was probably the most heinous act I've heard about in my life and that it was viral on the so-called social media appalls me.
If I were a parent of any child who was present, I'd be yanking their iPhone/computer so fast they wouldn't know what hit them but parents don't seem to do that sort of thing these days.
I also want to know what kind of parents allow their teenager to have an unchaperoned party. Heck!! My college age kids asked called us in Florida if they could have a couple friends over. (We said yes but not the cops.) The only reason they didn't go with us is because they had summer jobs to help pay for college.
My kids were both athletes in high school. At the beginning of each year they were required to attend a meeting (with a parent) to go over the Athletic Code of Conduct and sign it. Our district took the behavior of their students (who represent it) seriously as did we and the parents of their friends. And we were pleased that our schools were as concerned as we were. They also were assured us that they were on firm legal ground in requiring this which begs the question if Steubenville High School also had such a policy -- and if not, why not?
There's a lot of blame to go around here and I hope that justice is served in Steubenville but I wouldn't bet the ranch on it.
Kay
I wouldn't bet on it either. My knee jerk response is that it comes back to a very gradual shift in societal standards and I have no idea how to reverse it at this point. That there's any debate over whether the young men did anything wrong or it was "just boys being boys" says a lot about the whole community. None of them should have been there, not the perps or the victim or the accessories; and every parent of every child in that house should be hanging their head in shame as abject failures.
ReplyDeleteI agree. It's a different world down there and I tend to stay away from that part of Ohio. That said, my ex and I made a point of getting to know the parents of our kids' friends and there were discussions among us when issues arose. Because we had strict rules, our kids tended to hang with kids whose parents were like us. (relieved sigh) I don't think that these kids realize how this will impact them for the rest of their lives -- college, career, and more.
DeleteI have seen a bit of the case you write about but, like you, I try to ignore the worst of the nasty stories out there. Sometimes you can't. The story our press here is focusing on involves four young people who strangled two men (reportedly casual friends), tried (unsuccessfully) to dismember the bodies, and were discovered by the police playing video games feet away from their victims' bodies. Two were women and one the son of a local police officer. We are definitely in an age of insanity.
ReplyDeleteHoly Mother of God!!! And those who spawned them call themselves parents.
DeleteAnd my mom thought my brother and I were such horrible brats!!!!
I only wrote about this because of the community's reaction.
Note: Ohio State was looking at one of the players involved and dropped their interest. If they accepted him, I would never watch another OSU game.
I'll help you say it! Shit happens when some parents adopt the attitude that anything their kids do is so exceptional they can do whatever they want. I've been wanting to write something about those rapes in India too! It makes me mad as hell! Keep on ranting! About military style weapons, too!
ReplyDeleteI agree. We had good kids And yeah on the India rapes -- I thought of you. Didn't they happen relatively close to your in-laws? And yeah, it surprised me that something like that happened there.
ReplyDeleteI tried to be a very attentive mom and it paid off and I think you & Hubby were the same with your kids.
What still cracks me up is the day I was up at my daughter's college for her soccer game and we went into "G-ville" for dinner after the match & the following conversation ensued:
Kate: You know, I'm really proud you
Moi: Oh? Why?
Kate: The whole time we were growing up you were always watching us and making sure that we did the right things. But now you've really let go. I'm proud of you!
Moi: Well, the reason for that was that when it was time to turn you loose on an unsuspecting world, that I could sleep at night -- and it worked!!!!
Kate: Thanks, Mom!!!
I still smile when I recall that. She and her brother are good people. Mission accomplished.
Moi
You should be proud, Kay! I'm working on my daughter to make sure that her son respects her and other girls and women. A lot of boys never learn that.
ReplyDeleteAnd then there is the religion of Football. Disaster on so many levels. Surprised the other day when Ta-Nehisi Coates, a big sports fan who writes for The Atlantic, said the unthinkable: get rid of it. This was Sunday on Up with Chris Hayes http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2013/01/the-assumption-of-risk-and-pro-football/272567/. Ta-Nehisi and I are an unlikely pair, found to have few followers on this.
ReplyDelete