I have been busy trying to get as much done as possible before Tuesday when I start my temporary assignment with the Census Bureau. This week I won't be around much because I'll be working 8-hour days. The ensuing weeks will be part-time so that will be easier and better for me.
* This quote rattling around in my poor demented, damaged brain for ages and has been very much with me since Friday night and a point of contention:
"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”
I'm not certain who said it but I think it's very good advice that I have failed to heed more times than I care to think about. Silly me.
One thing I understand is that the business world is important and I am more than willing to work with that so when Jeff called and said he was going to go play golf with his partner, his partner's son and a important potential client, I just said, "Have fun!" and reminded him that we had Lynda's fund raiser at 6:30. He said he would be here on time to go to supper first and added that landing this account could mean that he could completely retire which he has really wanted for a while. Good stuff!!!
A few hours later he called (probably from the 19th hole) and said that the gentleman (who obviously had no wife/S.O.) was insisting that they have dinner and talk more so he would meet me at the gallery. I was a bit disappointed but did my best not to say a word and said I'd go ahead and he could catch up with me later at the gallery.
* The fund raiser was a triumph!!!! The cakes were beautiful and yummy, the wine excellent, the art fabulous!!!!! And the band was absolutely great -- lots of the really great rock classics that everyone enjoyed. Saw lots of old friends and acquaintances and met some really lovely new ones. Danced my lil' heart out! By 9 o'clock, however, I was starting to get a tad annoyed. No Jeff. The cake auctions began and I wound up buying one -- partially because I was getting annoyed. (I'll show you a photo as soon as Lynda's husband emails it to me. I forgot my camera.) He finally arrived about 10 full of apologies, a hug for me and handed Lynda a nice check. I was angry and I still am and I think I'm going to stay that way for a while. I am tired of people in my life who don't consider me a priority despite my best efforts on their behalf.
* In the course of the evening I had had a couple conversations with alleged friends who asked why I hadn't called. Why? Because when I do, they don't return them and I said as much so I stopped calling. I make time for people who are important to me. That's what friends and family are supposed to do.
Jeff keeps calling and apologizing and wants to talk. I don't. I am cranky and tired; I said my piece and now I just want some space so I can concentrate on what I need to do for me. Am I wrong? Maybe. It won't be the first time and it certainly won't be the last. I'll get through it but I'll be damned if I'm going to be anybody's doormat.
This is my song for today as I try to get things done. I think "don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy" is damned good advice. I tend to do that too much.
Hope y'all are having a great day!!!!!