Friday, March 22, 2013

Loss

I don't handle loss well. I also don't handle nasty people well so when the two are combined, it's damned near fatal.

My ex-husband -- now my friend -- died yesterday from a massive stroke after several days of suffering. He held my hand almost to the end. I will miss him greatly. It's been an ordeal and I haven't handled it well but I take comfort that we were friends at the end. Our so-called adult children haven't been very nice to me and that hurts a lot. I'm not going to elaborate but I'm not too happy (gross understatement).

Desperate times call for desperate measures so there will be some changes as soon as I get my head, heart and mind cleared for take off.

Kay




26 comments:

  1. I am so sorry. You will both be in my prayers.

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  2. That is terrible news Kay!! Please accept Shirl and I's condolences.

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  3. Kay, I am so sorry for your loss. I remember when I divorced and was so glad we were able to remain friends. Thankfully we didn't have any children. You are in my thoughts and have all my best wishes.

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  4. Kay, I am so sorry. Just do all the sorting now, and start on the changes later, OK.

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  5. I am sorry for your loss, losing a friend and someone you share such a history with is very sad. Sending good wishes your way.

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  6. I too am sorry for your loss. When I divorced we did not stay friends. I acted in a very childish manner that I now regret and wish I had had the opportunity to say good by as a friend. He died a year and a half ago.

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  7. I am sorry to hear this as I know how important his friendship was to you and how much you loved him in the truest sense. I wish you comfort through this difficult time.

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  8. I'm sorry for your loss. My ex and I didn't part enemies, and we did talk a lot to each other over the years. What bothered me most, when he died, was the number of friends who assumed I didn't care.

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  9. Anonymous5:36 PM

    Kay--I am so sorry for the loss of your loved ex. We are all pretty helpless as we extend our wishes to you.
    Cop Car

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  10. I'm so very sorry. You bet I am keeping you in my thoughts. My Ex is dying now...and I keep him in my prayers too. Hugs from here.

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  11. Oh, Kay, I am so very sorry. You are in my thoughts tonight.

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  12. It saddens me to hear of your loss.

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  13. Oh, how terribly hard to be dealing with so much! What a wonderful thing that you were able to remaing friends and that it was you there with him. I am so sorry that your kids are not there for you. But we are all keeping you with us in our thoughts. This is going to be a hard time, you are strong.....keep one foot in front of the other. Sometimes that is all we can ask of ourselves.

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  14. Kay,
    You're in my thoughts and prayers.

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  15. Kay, I am really sorry. I know that all that is very hard to take, and I hope you can find peace with all of it.

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  16. What a shock that must have been! It's so important at this time in our lives to have friends--even if they were exes. You two went through some very trying times together, and probably understood each other better than anyone else. It's so great you were able to rekindle that friendship before this happened. Guilt feels even heavier than grief, and it's wonderful you were spared that. Just remember there are a slew of us sending our best thoughts and wishes your way. You may not be physically in our lives everyday but you're in our hearts--just as he remains in yours.

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  17. Kay, I'm so very sorry. Never mind the "ex" part -- people come into our lives for a reason, and unless they're actively doing us harm, they deserve our consideration. I'm glad you continued your relationship and wish you solace going forward.

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  18. What Alice said is so true... couldn't say it better than she did...
    As far as the children are concern.... people handle grief in different ways...
    give them about 6 months to a year, and hopefully they come back around..
    I don't know what they expected.. i don't think they knew or know.. and that could
    be a big part of the problem.. Sorry it turn out the way it did.. But you know and
    he knew what was in your heart.. You have no one to have to explain to.. it is what it is.
    As you can see we all have you in our prayers... and hopefully you can feel the hugs we all send
    to you...

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  19. I can appreciate what you've been through -- the unexpected sudden events, anxious concerns following his stroke which you would uniquely understand. I send you my sympathy with this loss. Be kind to yourself and patient.

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  20. I can appreciate what you've been through -- the unexpected sudden events, anxious concerns following his stroke which you would uniquely understand. I send you my sympathy with this loss. Be kind to yourself and patient.

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  21. Thinking of you, Kay. Hope there is comfort in recalling how you moved to a better connection with one another. yours, naomi

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  22. My ex husband [and father of my son] died 15 years after our divorce, and it was still the end of a meaningful relationship. Try to resist the need to defend your feelings or actions toward your ex...you owe no one nothing. Very sorry that the kids also caused additional grief. Hang in there. Spring is coming. Again, I am sorry for your loss. Keep posting, so your cyber friends will know you are ok. We care.

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  23. I agree with Mare completely, Kay. Please take care of yourself. I'm so sorry for the sad time you're going through.

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  24. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers. xo
    ~a

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  25. OMG Kay....I'm SO very sorry for the loss of your ex. And I'm sorry that I'm late in telling you. I've been in a kind of blogging slump for a while....as you probably can tell. So I haven't even really been going on my blog or checking out my blogging friends much. I hope I get out of it soon. I'm sending you a lot of hugs....(((((((((Kay)))))))). I'm so very glad that you and your ex were friends again. That's often not the case, but it's such a good thing. God Bless my friend.... Love, Joy

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  26. OMG Kay....I'm SO very sorry for the loss of your ex. And I'm sorry that I'm late in telling you. I've been in a kind of blogging slump for a while....as you probably can tell. So I haven't even really been going on my blog or checking out my blogging friends much. I hope I get out of it soon. I'm sending you a lot of hugs....(((((((((Kay)))))))). I'm so very glad that you and your ex were friends again. That's often not the case, but it's such a good thing. God Bless my friend.... Love, Joy

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