It's was a weird Sunday. I was busy with assorted nonsense and sundry distractions so I didn't get a post up as I had hoped. Oh well.
My good friend Kent McKamy of kentsusdrive sent along this gem that is a tad bawdy so if you blush easily or offended by such, you can stop reading now. It left me laughing and groooaaannning so hard, I had to post it for y'all!!!!!
The Toad Story
So, there's this yellow toad wandering around in the forest rather upset because he doesn't want to be yellow. Life would be easier if he were brown like the other toads -- he'd sure be less visible to predators for one thing.
Anyway ... in his wanderings, the yellow toad bumps into a fairy godmother and he begs her, "Fairy godmother, please make me brown like the other toads. I am tired of being so visible to predators and such."
The fairy godmother whips out her magic wand and says, "Abracapokus! You're brown!"
The toad looks down and sees that he is brown except for his package, which is still yellow. He says to the fairy godmother: "Wait a minute! My pecker's still yellow!"
To this the fairy godmother replies: "I don't do johnsons. You will have to go see The Wizard of Oz for that."
The toad thanks her and hops off on his way.
There is also a purple bear wandering about the very same woods. As luck would have it, he encounters the same fairy godmother. He implores her: "Fairy godmother, please make me brown like the other bears. None of the lady bears want to be seen with me on account of the hunters can spot me from a mile off."
She, being a nice fairy godmother, takes out her magic wand and says: "Pokuscadabra! You're brown!"
The bear looks down and sees that he is, in fact, brown with the exception of the ole twig and berries,they remain purple. He wails: " But my wang is still purple!"
She says: "I don't do units, you will have to go see The Wizard of Oz for that."
To this the bear replies: "Well that's just dandy, but how the hell do I find The Wizard of Oz?"
The fairy godmother answers: "That's easy . . .
Are y'all ready????
Are y'all sure?????
. . . just follow the yellow dick Toad!"