It's 4 a.m. and insomnia reigns so what's a beleaguered old girl to do? Blog her little heart out -- right?
In addition to all the other upheaval in my life, a variety of fresh hell has reared its ugly heads -- just what the Cranky Old Broad needed! As a result I am wide awake despite having to be at work at 9 a.m. I have been diligently trying to sort organize the mess in my den and find all the things that are MIA in hopes that I can get what I'm laughingly calling home these days in decent order while dithering over recent events.
The events are as follows chronologically and in ascending order of annoyance as well:
1) Sunday afternoon an old suitor called (not The Man). I wouldn't have answered if he'd called my cell because I have caller ID on it and I've made a practice of not deleting such numbers. Fortunately, he lives out of state and I never saw him too often anyway. I sort of let that so-called relationship die because a) he bores me; b) 'separated' doesn't get it with me. Separated is like a little bit pregnant in my not so humble opinion. Of course, since I'm not interested he adores me. Why is that?
2. Early Monday evening I got a collect local call from a friend who's been going through a bad patch who needed help as I was getting ready to go to City Council meeting with my grass roots group and I had agreed that I would speak. I explained this to the friend and apologized and she went off on me. I did agree to call another of her friends for her to help and did so. I also, since she was obviously stone broke, took the little cash in in my wallet -- I'm a debit card kind of girl and rarely have more than a few dollars on hand -- and dropped it off for her on my way to the meeting. I went on to the meeting and it went well and my comments were very well received and afterward the Mayor and President of Council both came to me and thanked me for speaking. Several of us decided to go get a sandwich and a beer afterwards at my (and half of the rest of the city's) favorite pub which is only about ten blocks from my home. A good time was had and I ran into a few old friends who asked me to join them when we were leaving. I agreed and stayed another hour or so so we could get caught up with each other. When I got home, my phone rang again and the same friend was calling. She was at the emergency room at a hospital because she was running a fever -- the friend I called for her had taken her there but left (but was going to come get her when she was through) and she didn't want to be alone as she'd been there for hours and they still hadn't treated her. I explained that since I had had two short beers (my limit) I really didn't think I should be driving -- especially with the nasty police in the area where she was. I'm pretty careful about such things. She went ballistic again about no one caring and hung up on me. I have tried so hard to help this person as she's been a help to me. I've provided food, money, and transportation not to mention as much moral and practical support as I can but there's a limit to what I can and will do. I'm not risking my driver's license for anyone. I waited nine years to own a car again and you can bet I won't be messing with that. Was I wrong for not putting her first because of my prior commitment? Was I wrong not to take a risk and drive out there? There have been plenty of times when I've needed help and it wasn't available but I soldiered on -- it was all I could do. Right now I feel pretty cranky about the whole thing. If she had called yesterday and apologized I'd feel better.
3) Tuesday it was an awful, rainy day but I had pressing errands and went and did them. Little did I know that when I took off that I forgot to lock my door which is weird because I'm pretty careful about that. I came home and dumped my purchases and collected the day's mail and went through it quickly. After putting my stuff away, I went to check my email and noticed a CD in a case on my desk labeled "Eric Clapton" sitting in front of my monitor. I recognized the handwriting and called my ex-husband. Yes, he had been here. Yes I am, angry but I elected not to argue with him for reasons that are another blog that will be part of the "How I Got to Be Me" series I'm planning after things settle. What bothers me is that he thinks he has the right to just walk into my home when I'm not here. That he tried the door when no one answered, really puts me crazy. Frankly, I don't like it when he comes over -- much less without calling first which he's been doing lately. This is the man who gets tight-jawed if I mention that I went out with someone despite that he's been living with a woman since six weeks after our divorce seven years ago. Sheesh!!!!!
Oh hell! It's after five and I'm still wide awake. I'd better get back to my chores because there's no way I'm gonna sleep! Hopefully, I'll get through the day at work with the grace of God and a boatload of caffeine. I don't want sympathy -- I'm just venting! Thanks for letting the Cranky Old Broad kvetch! Hope y'all are having a better week than I am! And if you aren't having a good week, you have my utmost sympathy!