Here's a rather long and a tad quirky grooooaaannnn to start your week! Enjoy!!!!!
An octopus walks into a Pub and asks for a pint, the surprised landlord exclaims, "My God a talking octopus!"
The octopus replies "Yeah, I'm working on the building site across the road. I'll be in every day ay lunch time for the next two weeks for a pint"
"Fine" says the Landlord, and says no more about it.
The next day the circus comes to town, and the ringmaster drops into the pub for a pint. The landlord says, "I've got just the thing for you, mate! There's a talking octopus that comes in here for a pint every lunchtime. If you like, when I see him I'll tell him that you are interested in him."
"Oh definitely" says the ringmaster, "Tell him to get in touch as soon as possible!"
Without fail the octopus pops in that lunchtime for his pint. The landlord tells the octopus about the ringmaster's interest in him.
The octopus asks "A circus? That's a tent isn't it?"
"Yes" replies the Landlord.
"It's made of canvas isn't it, with big red stripes on?" inquires the octopus.
"Yes, that's right, you've got it!" answers the landlord excitedly.
"But," says the octopus "What in the hell do they want with a plasterer?