Update -- All Stressed Out with No one to Choke

On Monday, when I arrived at my first meeting, I discovered that no one let me know the correct time so I was late which grates on my obsessive-compulsive soul. The meeting that followed was equally stressful. And the main meeting was worse. I was half in tears by the time I left and had a really weird headache after I got home that made me a bit nervous. I went to bed in hopes that I'd feel better and when I wakened, I did seem a bit better.

Tuesday was a very stressful day and Wednesday not much better. It began with a mandatory "job club" meeting. That is, it was yet another nag-nag-nag about why we old ladies can't get a job. (We're old, dammit! Never mind that we are hard-working, and intelligent and reliable. We are no longer young and pretty and in the real world that is paramount.) I had the added joy of being told that I had to see the director afterward -- never a good thing. I am actually one of few people in this program who actually sends out resumes and goes on interviews but I get singled out for abuse.

Her dictum was that I have two weeks to write a grant so Jeff can hire me. I've never written a grant in my life. I've taken a couple classes in grant writing and have been considering going to the main library to talk with the grant expert they have on staff there. Now I have no choice. I can do it. I have to -- The Bitch Goddess has spoken. (more about this later)

I went home to discover that my power had been turned off and the stress I was feeling grew by leaps and bounds. I grabbed my financials and headed down to HEAP (Home Energy Assistance) to see what was wrong -- I had not only paid my bill, I had paid extra as I am wont to do. Since I'm low income, I have to use their service. When they ran into road blocks I fell apart. Those are some really good women. They went the extra mile and found the mistake that caused the problem. Hallelujah and Amen! My power was restored. I was a wreck when I got home and took one of my anti-anxiety pills in hopes that I'd feel better. It didn't work and I felt worse -- my neck hurt and I was getting stabbing pains in my skull. I finally went to the Care Center and they decided that I needed to be transported to the hospital ER for an emergency CAT scan. (I was upset that they were separating me from Miss Ruby.) They gave me a couple shots to calm me down and ran the scan. I guess I checked out okay because they gave me a scrip, told me to make an appointment with my doctor ASAP and arranged for security to take me back to Miss Ruby and I drove myself home and put myself to bed after writing here.

Wednesday when I awakened I still felt like death and called the program office and they said I couldn't go back to work until I had a note from my doctor so I said I'd bring down my paperwork from the doctor and did. It wasn't specific enough, so I went home, called Jeff and explained why I wouldn't be there. He was great and told me to rest. I also told him about the grant stuff and he said, "Is she nuts? I'll talk to her." I got an appointment with my doctor for today so hopefully I'll be okay and can go to work. I had to go get my scrip filled and I stopped by Heggy's for a bag of their wondrous chocolates and dropped it off as a 'thank you' to the lovely ladies at HEAP. When they heard I wound up at ER, they said they weren't surprised. They were also very grateful for my gift.

When I got home I looked at my scrip and googled it. It turned out to be migraine medication. I decided that wasn't kosher and refuse to take it. The doc and I will slug that out this afternoon. I put myself to bed for a couple hours and got up in time to drag myself to the neighborhood association. meeting and came home. My neck is aching and I'm going back to bed. I probably should call the hospital but I'm inclined to believe that's a wasted effort. Poor people don't get good care.

I apologize for this and hope I have better news ahead. Just keep in mind that I'm a survivor and that I will prevail although I wonder why.

Happy Blogging!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kay