Wednesday, December 26, 2007

What's a Granny to Do?

I admit that yeah, I ordered my grandsons' Christmas gifts late. It happened because I waited for an email that never came -- I had requested that my son send me an email to let me know what Drake and Connor wanted for Christmas that he and Jen thought appropriate. (I try to be a good grandma and check with mommy and daddy to see what they think the boys would like.) He didn't send it.

As I've mentioned in the past our relationship is strained at best since his dad and I split up -- partially due to my inability to explain to him why I was leaving because he refused to return my calls. I finally went ahead and ordered what I thought they would like from Barnes and and when I made the order all appeared to be well.

Wrong! I had received a message from them saying Connor's gift would be a tad late but still on time so I didn't worry because I'd done business with them before and they had proved reliable.

Tonight I came home (the day AFTER Christmas) after a meeting after work and going out to eat with friends to an email telling me that Connor's package was delayed. Connor is three years old. How does one tell a 3-year-old that Santa messed up even if his dad was inclined to allow it which he probably isn't.

What is a Grandma to do? How is Granny to explain this to the wall of ice that is my son who pretends to be deaf where I'm concerned? There are a lot of words going through my head at this moment -- most aren't used in polite company. I didn't need this.

I also am even more upset that Connor might feel hurt. My damn son has put up a wall between me and his boys that breaks my heart and this certainly isn't going to help break it down. I am so tired of being hurt by him and it galls me when something like this happens!

I am presently in tears and tap-dancing on the edge of sanity and don't know how I'm going to be able to work in the morning because I sure as hell am too upset to sleep. The one thing y'all can bet on is that Barnes and Noble's customer service will be getting a call that will blister paint in the morning along with the promise that I will never do business with them again unless they make proper reparations and apologies.

One thing I don't need in my life is a corporate entity making my life more difficult. I have friends and family who take care of that quite nicely, thank you. I am so tired of this sort of thing!!!! Sorry for venting but I am as angry as I've been in a long time. Suggestions are welcome. I'm trying mightily to be rational but I feel so badly that I might have hurt Connor and that's what really counts.

Happy Blogging!!!!!!!!!



  1. I have a card with a picture of a 1950's couple happily holding the holiday turkey. Inside it says, "Don't you sometimes want to flip your family the bird?"

    Connor will be thrilled with a present whenever he gets it, but I'm sorry you have to deal this frustration.

  2. That's a shame about the problems with your son. I hope Connor hasn't been 'poisoned' against you by your son. I hope things turn out OK.

  3. Sweet Kay,
    I am sure your sweet little grandson will be delighted when the gift arrives, even if it is late. Perhaps it will be the most remembered gift because it had its own "occasion". I love late gifts because it stretches the season out just a little bit longer. I am sure he is not disappointed, I am sure at his tender age, it won't make that big of a difference. Take heart, sweet lady. You are a dear sweet grandma. Don't give up on them. The best way to estrange them is to give up. The best way to win them over is to continue to try. Even if it doesn't work out with the son, the grandson will see through it eventually and know he always had a sweet grandma who loved him.
    My sister's mother-in-law always sent her granddaughters a dollar bill every month. It seemed weird, but she said, something as common as a dollar would be seen every day, and the memories of their grandma would be associated with those dollars. The girls are now 22 years old, and the grandma has died, but you know what? They DO associate those dollar bills with their sweet grandma.
    I hope you have a wonderful New Year!

  4. Kay,

    So sorry to hear of your unhappiness about your son and Connor's gift not arriving in time for Christmas. He is only a baby and will have no idea about when it was due, he will only love it when it arrives from his Grandmom.

    The one who should notice your kindness is your son, and I know he does notice even if he doesn't react to you in a favorable way. Nothing you are doing for him or his family is being lost on them, it is being recorded in his brain for further processing when he comes to his senses.....

  5. Boy does your frustration and anguish come across... certainly understandable. My mother (unlike me!!!) can get her stuff done so ahead of time that her green-wrapped (her trademark) packages are here after Thanksgiving and are the first gifts set under the tree. She also, when my children were little, sent a package for every holiday. It wasn't big, but maybe a refrigerator decoration for Valentines or whatnot. Sounds like maybe with planning, you can be ahead of the game in the future.

    Children can't help being frustrated by divorce. You owe no one explanations but it isn't the chidren who choose the divorce. Allowing and giving permission to let grief and anger be expressed is a gift (of understanding) in itself. Time can heal all wounds, hopefully.

  6. I feel like all the people above. Most of all, Connor will love the gift, even if late. Since he is only three, he did not think "Wonder why granny's gift is late?" They get so much on Christmas day, he will probably remember it more since it is late. My grandchildren tore through their presents, I don't think they will appreciate them until later.

    I wish I could write down my feelings like you, but more important I hope time will bring healing to you and your son. Maybe by him seeing your love for Connor will soften his heart.


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