This not feeling well, doctor visits, not sleeping and assorted other nonsense caught up with me and I decided to ignore it all and do the things I've been neglecting. I got a bit of a start today and made another "gotta do list" for tomorrow. Translated that means I'm not going to be around too much the next day or so. Life has a way of intruding, dontcha know?
However, I am gonna give y'all a laugh for today. This one I like a lot! Wonder if it works for old guys, too.
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding . . .
Older Woman: "Is there a problem, Officer?"
Officer: "Ma'am, you were speeding."
Older Woman: "Oh, I see. "
Officer: "Can I see your license please?"
Older Woman: "I'd give it to you but I don't have one."
Officer: "You don't have one?"
Older Woman: "Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving."
Officer: "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please."
Older Woman: "I can't do that."
Officer: "Why not?"
Older Woman: "I stole this car."
Officer: "You stole it?
Older Woman: "Yes, & I killed & hacked up the owner."
Officer: "You what?"
Older Woman: "His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see."
The Officer looks at the woman incredulously and sloooowly backs away to his car and calls in for back up. Within minutes, five police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn gun.
Officer 2:" Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please?"
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: "Is there a problem sir?"
Officer 2: " One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner."
Older Woman: "I murdered the owner?"
Officer 2: "Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please?"
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: "Is this your car, ma'am?"
Older Woman: "Yes, sir, here are the registration papers."
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: "One of my officers claims that you do not have a driver's license. "
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse & hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: "Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car and that you murdered and hacked up the owner."
Older Woman: "Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too."
MORAL: Don't Mess With Little Old Ladies!