One of the great contributors to this feature, Nancy Leitz, sent along this lengthy groooaaaannnn that left me rolling my eyes. I think y'all will enjoy it, too!!!
Two Swedes from Minnesota, Sven & Ole, walk into a pet shop near
Brainerd. They head to the bird section and Sven says to
Ole, "Dat's dem."
The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.
"Yah sure, ve'll take four of dem dere
little budgies in dat cage up dere," says Sven.
The owner puts the budgies in a paper bag.. Ole and
Sven pay for the birds, leave the shop, get into Sven's
pick-up and drive to the top of some big cliffs
near Brainerd Lake
At the cliffs, Sven looks down at the 1000 foot drop
and says, "Dis looks like a grand place."
He takes two birds out of the bag, puts them on his
shoulders and jumps off the cliff. Ole watches as Sven
falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself dead.
Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Ole
shakes his head and says: "By yumpin' yiminy, dis
budgie yumping is too dangerous for me."
VAIT!!! Dere's MORE!
Moments later Knute arrives up at the cliffs.
He's been to the pet shop, too, and walks up to
the edge of the cliff carrying another paper bag in one hand
and a shotgun in the other.
"Hey, Ole. Vatch dis." Knute says. He takes
a parrot from the bag and throws himself over the edge of
Ole watches as half way down, Knute takes the gun and
shoots the parrot.
Knute continues to plummet down and down until he
hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body.
Ole shakes his head and says, "And I'm never
trying dat parrotshooting either."
BUT VAIT!!! Dere's MORE , you betcha!!
Ole is just getting over the shock of losing two
friends when Lars appears.
He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a
paper bag, out of which he pulls a chicken.
Lars grasps the chicken by the legs, holds it over
his head, hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down
and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine.
Once more Ole shakes his head. "First der was
Sven with his budgie yumping, den Knute parrotshooting ..
and now Lars, hengliding ......"
Dats all. Dere ain't no more!
Watcha lookin' down here for? I told you dere's no more.!