Friday, December 19, 2008
Biker Santa is comic relief -- I think he's kinda cute -- after a so-so week. Nothing much has been resolved. I'm getting the holiday blues so please bear with me for another week. It doesn't help that grey days get to me but I'll manage.
On Monday, the committee, of which I'm secretary, finally had its wrap-up meeting. It was, as I expected, a genuine debacle and I even came under fire. I had the audacity to agree with our treasurer on some funding issues that she questioned and I pointed out some things that were not in keeping with how I thought things should be run -- especially her incessant attacks on our treasurer. Our chairman (who plays the race card every time someone who is white questions her authority) took offense and now I'm on her list, too. Sigh. Even the member who founded the committee is ready to quit after that meeting. Another member said after the meeting, "She doesn't want co-workers -- she wants slaves!" She got it right. Those of us who are displeased are considering a talk with the foundation who funds us about the problems. I am definitely letting this go. It's a good committee with a good purpose but not at the expense of my last nerve.
I finally got to see my doctor Thursday. I was a very good girl. I had a list with all crapola that's been bugging me. Her reaction was mixed. She worries more about the stuff I take than for panic attacks than anything else. And it's what I worry about least. Go figure. Here is the upshot of my visit:
* I guess I get to keep the crap I've had since October because she told me to keep taking Claritin. It hasn't worked yet and I couldn't get an answer as to why I should continue.
* She did listen when I told her I couldn't hear out of my left ear and had the nurse take care of it and I felt better immediately. It's clogging up again already though. Sigh.
* She gave me a different medication for panic attacks that also purportedly functions as an anti-depressant. The stuff I currently take is addictive for many. I know that and I do not take it unless I need it. I only take .25 mg as needed and a 30-day prescription lasts me five or six months. The new stuff is 7.5 mg and I'm supposed to take it twice a day. To me this is a no brainer -- a choice between .25 mg and 15 mg of poison a day? hmmmm . . . She tells me I'm depressed. Yeah, I am -- I'm depressed that my doctor doesn't get it. And yeah, I'm prone to stress. A friend who's been with me the last couple decades says that if I weren't depressed now and then, she'd be really worried.
* I was astounded to discovered that she doesn't get why I'm off my thyroid medication. And you can bet I'm talking to the endocrinologist about it when I finally see him in a couple weeks. I hope he schedules my scan so I can get back on my meds. They actually help and I feel better.
I'm as ready for Christmas as I'm going to be. I didn't decorate much. I just sent gift cards to the grands. No muss; no fuss. I've no plans except midnight mass and perhaps volunteering at our parish's Christmas dinner. Right now I feel burnt out on volunteering.
I hope y'all are done shopping and ready to celebrate with your nearest and dearest!