Monday, February 18, 2008

How I Got to Be Me -- The Young Years

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  1. Ah--This Is Your Life! Remember that long-ago TV show? Well, I'm ready for the next chapter, Kay. It's amazing how many of us were reared in dysfunctional families, isn't it? As a 12 stepper, however, I've come to believe my own family was only slightly dysfunctional. Sounds like yours was far more difficult than mine. I do identify with the square peg in a round hole, although by 50 I admit I stopped feeling that way and somehow or other just accepted who I was. Like you, I've carried a lifetime of chronic depression, but therapy and meds have made my life such a rich one.

  2. Whatever any of our experiences in life, we're pretty fortunate to turn out as "... a decent, well-educated, well-mannered and responsible person." Everything else is 'icing on the cake.' Maybe being a square peg in a round hole simply means needing to seek out some different holes to hang around. Heck, what do I know, I'm no philosopher.

  3. I can't wait for the next chapter!

  4. This is very very interesting Kay...I really enjoy reading about people's lives and their history. You describe your early life with your parents so very well...I get a real sense of them. The things that shape us and form the abuse you describe that each of them heaped upon you....So deadly in so many ways...And worse, often, then actual physical abuse...Though there is no doubt all leave their scars....
    I loom forward to reading more, Kay.

  5. I can't wait either, and I am so glad that you are writing this.

    "My mother demanded perfect behavior and specialized in guilt and hyper-criticism." I think we must be sisters, Kay, as my mom was exactly like that too. Although my dad didn't have anger problems; he suffered from being married to my mom and he kept all his opinions to himself and was very quiet about everything (lest he be criticized, too).

    I am slowly learning that I don't have to be perfect; moreover, I don't even have to try to be perfect anymore! NOw and then it creeps in - but I slap it back into the past!

    I hope you'll continue soon!

  6. "all you have to go on is how your parents raised you and, if you're a thinking person at all, you keep the good stuff and work very hard to keep the bad stuff at bay"

    Amen and amen! My mother battled depression and visited it on us as children and my dad believed in discipline with his 2" leather belt(hair raising tales here!).

    I vowed that I would do things differently -- my daughter says I did.

    But I still have lots of unresolved issues too.

    I'm really looking forward to hearing more of your story (and you're giving me the courage to think about writing mine)

  7. kay, you're very generous to share all this with us. i hope that doing this brings some, even small, measure of relief.

    so much of what you relate resonates for me even though the times and places are different. think i learned like you to cope at a very early age and the consequence is an ongoing discomfort, depression that lifts a bit but keeps us company always.

    here's to using those most life-affirming parts of you as you move forward. that's what we do, right?

    yours in the struggle, naomi

  8. Kay we have lots in common. I am curious about your sibling placement or if you are an only child. Oh yes, tell us more.

  9. Honestly Kay...I think your story is very similar to many others...only some people don't come through it so beautifully. And I really do think you have...even with the scars you incurred. And isn't it a sad state of affairs when you're told that you're too trusting...and you shouldn't be. I guess I'll share that mistake with you.

  10. Nancy6:44 PM

    Oh, Kay, What a story. I read every word and can't wait for the next chapter.

  11. i deeply admire anyone who can look at the past and put it all, the light and the dark, out there. thanks, kay. your story is a gift.

    plus, you confirmed my deepest suspicions: you were way smart as a little girl and accomplished even in grade school. i probably would have been seriously intimidated by you...jaysus, all a's!!

    great line from breakfast at tiffany's, too, even if you didn't use it.

  12. Thanks for sharing your life, Kay. This was a very honest and forthright post. I look forward to reading more.

  13. This is really interesting. I am looking forward to the next chapters. It's amazing the experiences we go through that make us who we are and each of us so different *hugs*


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