Monday, July 30, 2012

It's the Groaner of the Week!!!!!

This outstanding groooaaannn that came in had to be cleaned up a bit lest I offend anyone. Those of you who golf know how frustrating it can be will relate to it and will no doubt be able to fill in the proper word(s). Enjoy!!!!

A nun walks into Mother Superior’s office and plunks down into a chair; she lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.

"What troubles you, Sister?" asked the Mother Superior, "I thought this was the day you spent with your family."

"It was," sighed the Sister, "And I went to play golf with my brother.We try to play golf as often as we can and you know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ."

"I seem to recall that," the Mother Superior agreed, "So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?"

"Far from it,? snorted the Sister, "In fact, I even took the Lord’s name in vain today!"

"Goodness, Sister!" gasped Mother Superior, astonished. "You must tell me all about it!"

"Well, we were on the fifth tee . . . and this hole is a monster, 520 yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg left and a hidden green . . . and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it.The sweetest swing I've ever made and it’s flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted and it hits a bird in mid-flight not 100 yards off the tee!"

"Oh my!" commiserated the Mother.’How unfortunate! But surely that didn’t make you blaspheme, Sister!"

"No, that wasn’t it." admitted Sister. "While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!"

"Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!’ sympathized Mother Superior.

"But it didn’t, Mother! sobbed the Sister, "And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and
grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!"

"So that’s when you cursed!" said the Mother with a knowing smile.

"‘Nope, that wasn’t it either," cried the Sister in anguish. "because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!"

Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said . . .

"You missed the freaking putt, didn’t you?"

(Kay runs for cover)

Happy Blogging!!!!



  1. Anonymous9:17 AM

    And away I go - chuckling along the way. Thanks, Kay, I'll have to share this with my golfer, Hunky Husband.
    Cop Car

  2. Good enough I read it to Mom and we both groaned.

  3. I was an avid golfer for 30 years. Groaners like this helped convince me to give up the game!

  4. Hahaha! Surprise ending for me :) I expected a bear to run out from woods and get the hawk. Haha!

  5. I don't play golf despite both my father and brother play in tournaments. I think I miss something in the end lol!

  6. Nuns are hilarious ;)

  7. hmmm....that could be straight out of aesop!

  8. Know Jack N. golf big in Ohio -- wonder if he ever had an experience like this? Heard Obama ahead in Ohio, so keep up the good work.

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  10. Just perfection. LOL

  11. Thanks to all y'all for your kind words! I'm delighted that y'all enjoyed it!!!!

  12. Anonymous8:59 AM

    BTW: You just proved that one need not use blue language to communicate. Kuddos!
    Cop Car

  13. Had to come back to see if you had any words about Obama's visit to Akron -- Aug. 1st, I think I read. Spect ur office busy and being dwarfed in data you're compiling, and dissecting. Keep goin'!

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  15. Yikes! Yes, I could fill in the missing word. Nuns are fun.

  16. Just so you'll know, I deleted two of my comments because for some reason they were duplicates of what I had already posted.


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