Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Mea Culpa!!!!

Dear Gentle Blogging Friends:

I have been, of late, a cranky, whiny old broad. Don't tell me otherwise -- I've been getting on my own nerves! Blame it on on overload; blame it on this damned cold or whatever it is; blame it on some changes that are going on that I don't like or the problems that are ongoing that I can't do a damned thing about. However, I know that I have only to look in the mirror to see where most of the blame lies. I have met the enemy and it is moi.

When I was going through my divorce many years ago, I was terribly stressed and depressed and nearly inconsolable and I got really tired of myself. I finally put on my Thinking Cap and after much deliberation and soul-searching, I realized an important truth: Happiness can be a choice.

My solution? I sat down and made myself a small sign that read: Today I Choose to Be Happy and taped it to my bathroom mirror so I'd see it each morning as I put on my makeup for work. Some days it was an easy choice to make; other days it was impossible but the reminder on my mirror kept me aware that it was MY choice and made it my mission to find something to make me smile -- even gallows humor is better than no humor at all! It helped a lot and soon I was choosing to be happy more often than not in spite of all the turmoil. I was also much more pleasant company.

Saturday, Marcia called and asked me to go to a party at a mutual acquaintance's house. In spite of feeling lousy, I decided that it was just what I needed and I went. I was right and felt much better. Sometimes I sit around here too much and think and that isn't good for me.

That sign didn't come with me when I moved here two years ago -- somehow it didn't get packed. Today I made a new sign in the hope that it will help. Just making it and putting it on my mirror made me feel better.

And now I'm issuing y'all a stern order: If y'all see me getting too whiny and too crabby, drop me an email and TELL ME!!!! I will appreciate your candor and concern. I care about y'all greatly and I feel badly that I've not been my usual crazy self.

Thanks to y'all in advance!!!!!!!!! As the late, great Cab Calloway used to say, "I love you madly!"

Happy Blogging!!!!!



  1. We love you too, and you are entitled to bitch now and then!!

  2. You're so right. Happiness is a choice and when we exercise it, happy things happen.

    Of course, sometimes that's just bunk, and that's when you just have to piss and moan!

    Love ya!

  3. Kay, you know we all feel the exact same way at times don't you? Some of us write about it on our blogs...some of us don't...that's what they're here for. That sign is a good idea; but Kay, being the strong person you are, you basically make good choices anyway. Glad you're feeling better sweetie.... Love, Joy

  4. Kay
    In the months that I have been reading your blog I never once thought that you were ever crabby or whiny.

    Bear((( )))

  5. Steph is right. There's a story that I have gotten twice on that subject about the man who chose to be happy. I can't remember much else, but we can control our moods to a degree.

    Having said that, I also know there are things just too heavy to bear and to try to be happy then is just foolish. It's good for us to rant and rave and get it out of our system. So who better to rant to than friends who understand?

  6. I think that sign is a terrific idea. It is hard as hell sometimes but I think in the end we do make the decision ourselves. Though I think grief in divorce or death has to have a healing time. No one could just POP back immediately. Sounds like you're doing all the right things!

  7. Everybody has down times and is entitled to some whining times. It's just life. I hope yours is looking better soon-- with our without a sign. I am a believer that it's not wrong to be openly depressed and admit it with the recognition that it's going to pass like any storm.

  8. Y'all are too kind!!!!! Thanks for your support!!!!

  9. Hope you are feeling perkier by now, Kay. After reading today's groaner, I think you have made that daily choice to be happy. Happiness is a choice. I think I first "got it" when I saw it in A Course in Miracles, even though I'd heard the term. In fact, when I was battling depression way back when, there was even a book named that.

    Like others have said, we are cyclical beings. Somebody somewhere wrote an essay about post menopausal women who still cyclically get symptoms.


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