It's 4 a.m. and insomnia reigns so what's a beleaguered old girl to do? Blog her little heart out -- right?
In addition to all the other upheaval in my life, a variety of fresh hell has reared its ugly heads -- just what the Cranky Old Broad needed! As a result I am wide awake despite having to be at work at 9 a.m. I have been diligently trying to sort organize the mess in my den and find all the things that are MIA in hopes that I can get what I'm laughingly calling home these days in decent order while dithering over recent events.
The events are as follows chronologically and in ascending order of annoyance as well:
1) Sunday afternoon an old suitor called (not The Man). I wouldn't have answered if he'd called my cell because I have caller ID on it and I've made a practice of not deleting such numbers. Fortunately, he lives out of state and I never saw him too often anyway. I sort of let that so-called relationship die because a) he bores me; b) 'separated' doesn't get it with me. Separated is like a little bit pregnant in my not so humble opinion. Of course, since I'm not interested he adores me. Why is that?
2. Early Monday evening I got a collect local call from a friend who's been going through a bad patch who needed help as I was getting ready to go to City Council meeting with my grass roots group and I had agreed that I would speak. I explained this to the friend and apologized and she went off on me. I did agree to call another of her friends for her to help and did so. I also, since she was obviously stone broke, took the little cash in in my wallet -- I'm a debit card kind of girl and rarely have more than a few dollars on hand -- and dropped it off for her on my way to the meeting. I went on to the meeting and it went well and my comments were very well received and afterward the Mayor and President of Council both came to me and thanked me for speaking. Several of us decided to go get a sandwich and a beer afterwards at my (and half of the rest of the city's) favorite pub which is only about ten blocks from my home. A good time was had and I ran into a few old friends who asked me to join them when we were leaving. I agreed and stayed another hour or so so we could get caught up with each other. When I got home, my phone rang again and the same friend was calling. She was at the emergency room at a hospital because she was running a fever -- the friend I called for her had taken her there but left (but was going to come get her when she was through) and she didn't want to be alone as she'd been there for hours and they still hadn't treated her. I explained that since I had had two short beers (my limit) I really didn't think I should be driving -- especially with the nasty police in the area where she was. I'm pretty careful about such things. She went ballistic again about no one caring and hung up on me. I have tried so hard to help this person as she's been a help to me. I've provided food, money, and transportation not to mention as much moral and practical support as I can but there's a limit to what I can and will do. I'm not risking my driver's license for anyone. I waited nine years to own a car again and you can bet I won't be messing with that. Was I wrong for not putting her first because of my prior commitment? Was I wrong not to take a risk and drive out there? There have been plenty of times when I've needed help and it wasn't available but I soldiered on -- it was all I could do. Right now I feel pretty cranky about the whole thing. If she had called yesterday and apologized I'd feel better.
3) Tuesday it was an awful, rainy day but I had pressing errands and went and did them. Little did I know that when I took off that I forgot to lock my door which is weird because I'm pretty careful about that. I came home and dumped my purchases and collected the day's mail and went through it quickly. After putting my stuff away, I went to check my email and noticed a CD in a case on my desk labeled "Eric Clapton" sitting in front of my monitor. I recognized the handwriting and called my ex-husband. Yes, he had been here. Yes I am, angry but I elected not to argue with him for reasons that are another blog that will be part of the "How I Got to Be Me" series I'm planning after things settle. What bothers me is that he thinks he has the right to just walk into my home when I'm not here. That he tried the door when no one answered, really puts me crazy. Frankly, I don't like it when he comes over -- much less without calling first which he's been doing lately. This is the man who gets tight-jawed if I mention that I went out with someone despite that he's been living with a woman since six weeks after our divorce seven years ago. Sheesh!!!!!
Oh hell! It's after five and I'm still wide awake. I'd better get back to my chores because there's no way I'm gonna sleep! Hopefully, I'll get through the day at work with the grace of God and a boatload of caffeine. I don't want sympathy -- I'm just venting! Thanks for letting the Cranky Old Broad kvetch! Hope y'all are having a better week than I am! And if you aren't having a good week, you have my utmost sympathy!
Happy Blogging!!!!!!!!!
Kay
We are all allowed to have a bad day/week!
ReplyDeleteWhat we are not allowed to do is wallow. That is what your friend seems to be doing.
Tell that Guy that if he calls again uninvited when you are out that you will report him for trespassing.
Cranky Old Broad...I think I might change the name of my blog to THAT. LOL
ReplyDeleteAs for helping your friend, sometimes the best help we can give is to allow them to help themselves. It's how we grow. Let her be mad. She'll get over it.
What can I say? Sometimes cranky is appropriate!
ReplyDeleteBe nice to yourself.
Mar, Scarlt, & Jan: During tough times, I learned that I'm only allowed to you-know-what so long. Then I have to do something productive. Today on my way to work, I bought myself season tickets for the ballet. And tough nuggies to anyone who expects me to miss a single performance! I bought tickets to the Symphony, too, last week as well as paid my membership to the Art Institute which means I get invited to all the openings. My dance card is pretty full until Spring with my other activities. lol Let 'em kvetch about it! Kay's World belongs to the Cranky Old Broad!
ReplyDeleteAnd that guy is my ex-hubby, Mar! If you've ever been through a divorce, you know how nasty the dynamics can be. And if you haven't, God bless you and trust me on this!
Dang it, Scarlet -- you're too young to be a cranky old broad!
It takes decades of seasoning to get really good at it -- even I have only begun my career as one! lol
#1 - you are a challenge to him.
ReplyDelete#2 - No, you did the right thing.
Leave off that boatload of caffeine, and you might sleep tonight!
I did an insomniac whine last night (actually, this morning.) If we all slept when we should where would people get their entertainment?
ReplyDeleteSometimes, it's just not possible to do enough for some people. You did help her by calling another friend for her and the other friend took care of it, so what is she mad about? That it wasn't you doing the heaving lifting this time? She'll get over it or she won't. But you have to meet you own commitments.
ReplyDeleteJudy: Thank you! And yeah, I deserved a little night life -- I've been a good girl for far too long! lol And the consensus says that I need to learn to remember to lock up and tell my ex to stay out of my place . . . like he'd listen. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteMarty: Right on! I keep telling people that God put me here to serve as a bad example 'cause I'm sooooo good at it.
Betty: Thank you! You are right -- I still catch myself trying to be all things to all people. Motherhood does leave it's scars, doesn't it? I don't want to be a saint -- it's too much work and hard on these feet of clay! Sigh & giggle
I was divorced for 26 years. I raised my children alone. Life was okay but lonely on the adult stage. Today I would not trade a thing. I found Prince Charming and we have been married 9 years. God is good if you ask.
ReplyDeleteGreat. Annie -- you are so blessed!
ReplyDeleteI was married 28 years and I've reached the point where I really don't think I'll marry again. Once was enough for this old girl! I had thought I met Mr. Right but he was just another crabby old man who expected me to be perfect. I don't do perfect but I seem to attract that sort.
That reminds me of an old joke: A lady says, "I met Mr. Right -- I didn't know he meant ALWAYS right. Sigh.
I prefer to love people as they are -- it saves disappointment and heartache. And yeah, I get lonely but I have been lonely and worse in relationships, too. And so it goes.
I just don't see that you did anything wrong in regards to your friend Kay. I think you were pretty terrific. Some people just don't know when to turn off the switch between enough and too much. I hope there's no guilt on your part....it would be wasted energy.
ReplyDelete