Monday, February 28, 2011

It's the Groaner of the Week!!!!!!

In case anyone hasn't noticed, I haven't been around and I won't bore y'all with the gories and just say that it's complicated.

I found this convoluted and stellar groooaaannn in my archives and added a video in case y'all don't know how to sing the punchline.

As you all know, American millionaires have a tendency to become avid collectors, often of the strangest things. This was certainly true of one particular millionaire who I shall call John.

John collected impressionist paintings, but not the ones you might think. He specialized in Eastern Bloc artists, and was especially fond of those from Bohemia. Over the years, he accumulated hundreds of such paintings. Individually they weren't that valuable, but as a collection they were of considerable interest to art historians.

Realizing this, many years ago he altered his will so that his entire collection was to be presented to the museum in the town where he grew up and also included handsome sum to cover security and display costs.

Time passed, as it always does, and last year, John died peacefully in his sleep.

What John hadn't foreseen was the breakup of the Soviet Union, and the opening up of the former communist countries to Western eyes. The value of John's collection had shot through the roof, in comparison with what he had considered its monetary value, and his surviving relatives began to cast envious eyes on the artwork.

The situation was made considerably worse when, during cataloguing, it was discovered that the collection included a long lost work by a famous French impressionist, with a value commensurate with its creator's fame.

All the relatives screamed loudly, and demanded that the will be contested in court. Some of them wanted all the paintings for themselves, but most were willing to allow the museum to have all except the French example and maybe even that one, as long as the museum was willing to pay a "reasonable price" for them.

As with all such cases, the more money involved, the faster the case is heard, and the longer it takes to hear it. Thus, it was only last week that the judge handed down his decision.

He found that the provision in the will was clearly stated, and perfectly reasonable. He therefore awarded the paintings to the museum, doing so in the clearest terms he could find. Indeed, his summation is a masterpiece of clarity . . .

"From the terms of this will it is plain to see you get your Monet for nothing, and your Czechs for free."

And here's a applicable video of an oldie y'all might recall to help y'all sing:

Happy Blogging!!!!!!!



  1. Actually, I became suspicious right away because although the millionaire died last year, his will was settled this year as opposed to the twenty or more years it would have taken for the many lawyers to have drained the estate.

  2. Aaaaaarrrrghhhhh!!!!!!! A gloriously terrible joke Kay

  3. I'm loving that. And I have to hate myself for doing it.

  4. Worst yet! Aaaaaaagh!


    The grandfather who moved to Yugoslavia: U. Gogh

    The brother who accidentally bleached all his clothes white: Hue Gogh

    The real obnoxious brother: Please Gogh

    The brother who ate prunes: Gotta Gogh

    The uncle who worked at a convenience store: Stop N. Gogh

    His dizzy aunt: Verti Gogh

    The cousin who moved to Illinois: Chica Gogh

    The cousin who lived in Mexico: Amee Gogh

    He also had a Filipino relative: Grin Gogh

    The nephew that drove a stage coach: Wells Far Gogh

    The aunt who loved ballroom dancing: Tan Gogh

    His ornithologist uncle: Flamin Gogh

    His nephew, the Freudian psychoanalyst: E. Gogh

    His Disco-loving sister: Go Gogh

    And his niece, who's been traveling the U.S. in a van: Winnie Bay Gogh

  6. god....i'm so tired from staying up late last night to watch the Oscars that I can't UNDERSTAND this joke. nice. how about a nice "a guy walked into the bar...." joke? simple enough for your older demographic????

  7. Why did he have to be named John.....

    Here is your Canceled Czech!!



  8. Oh, my. You are still at it. I'm just starting to visit my favorite blogs again now that I'm home. Hope you are OK.

  9. Thinking about you and hoping that you are keeping up with whatever you got going on there, Kay. Hang in there.


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