It's St. Patrick's Day and of course, I'm certain that it comes as no surprise to y'all that the Kay has a groaner for such an august occasion!!! As a matter of fact, I have two of them and each is guaranteed to give you giggles and grrroooaaans to aid your St. Paddy's celebration!!!!
The first is short and sweet (?) and my very favorite Irish joke:
What's green and stays out all night?
This one is a bit long and sure and begorrah, it will have y'all grrroooaaaning loud and long (and probably hunting me down!
There was a landowner called Paddy Purcell in Ireland. He had a small dairy, some pasture lands, and about ten acres of crops. All in all, a nice little family business, except that he had no family, being a confirmed bachelor.
So, when he died, the farm came back to the family. Now, somehow this distant cousin, and decided that another distant cousin called Sean O'Flaherty from the States would be the perfect choice to handle the disposition of Paddy's estate. Sean had always wanted to visit the Olde Sod so he travelled to Ireland, to look at the farm and see what kind of assets Paddy had to distribute.
Arriving at Derry, he asked for Paddy Purcell's farm, and was directed there by a helpful milkmaid. When I got to the farmhouse, I was greeted by an elderly gentleman with graying red hair and merry blue eyes. "Welcome to Purcell Manor," he said. "I am Darby, the houseman." He proceeded to introduce me to the rest of the household and farm staff, and showed me to the office which Paddy had built on to the back of the house.
Sean spent the next two days going over the financial situation, which was bleak. The dairy equipment needed to be upgraded, the farm was deeply in debt, and the house mortgaged to the hilt. Clearly, everything was going to have to liquidated order to pay off Paddy's debts.
Concerned about how the staff was going to take the news, Sean decided the best way to break it to them was to take them all to the pub and tell them over a few drinks that they were going to be out of work.
Everyone piled into the farm truck and headed into town. In a pub called The Green Bough, Sean and Paddy's staff sat down and had a few pints of ale. Sean really didn't want to give Darby and the rest of the staff such bad news but he had pledge to do so and finally mustered the courage to stand up and blurt out a few words about the state of the estate before giving each of them their walking papers.
At that, however, a Constable who had been drinking in the corner got up and approached the table. Taking out his handcuffs, he affixed them to Sean's wrists while pronouncing, "Yer under arrest, laddie - come along quietly!"
Sean had no idea what crime he had committed and was astounded when the Judge sentenced him to thirty days in jail.
Why, y'all ask, was Sean in carcerated?
. . . for discharging an Eire farm within city limits.