Sometimes I think that villages missing their idiots should start an Internet site so these poor lost souls that keep making headlines can find their way home. A friend sent me a link an article on this site last week and I've finally stopped laughing so that I can post this with a semi-straight face. The site has a kinda neat category called Quirkies that contains all sorts of weird news clips and provides some pretty good giggles at what I like to call Stupid Human Tricks and the story my friend sent caught my fancy.
It seems that Canadian Members of Parliament can be just as wacko as our own government officials who I innocently thought had a stranglehold on that department. MP Mike Lake of Edmonton, Alberta, wants to put Sasquatch, aka Bigfoot, on the Canadian equivalent of our endangered species list.
Excuse me? How do we know Sasquatch is endangered? If no one has seen him or where he lives, how do we know he's endangered? Has anyone really seen him up close and personal? Does anyone know how many Bigfeet or is it Bigfoots (What the hell is the plural?) are in existence? Is there evidence we're killing them off? If no one can find Bigfoot or knows where he lives, is he in danger. More importantly: is this essential to the health and well being of Canadians? I kinda doubt most Canadians have Sasquatch's safety ranked #1 on their priority list for the House of Commons.
All I know he gets around. He's been sighted here, there and everywhere. There was a sighting of what might have been Bigfoot here some years ago but we have to remember that those folks out there east of us see some pretty weird stuff on those country roads on the way home after the "beer frame" at the bowling alley and it isn't always a deer. Even the Bigfoot Research Organization, which sponsored an expedition in 2006 to our neighboring state, West, by God, Virginia, concedes that Bigfoot may not exist and states on its website:
What are the undisputed facts about the bigfoot/sasquatch mystery?
* It’s a fact that for more than 400 years, people have reported seeing large, hair-covered, man-like animals in he wilderness areas of North America.
* It’s a fact that sightings of these animals continue today. Real or not, these reports are often made by people of unimpeachable character. [Kay’s note: Does this mean a politician has never seen one? ;-) ]
* It is a fact that, for over seventy years, people have been finding, photographing, and casting sets of very large, human-shaped tracks. Most are discovered by chance in remote areas. These tracks continue to be found to this day.
* It is a fact that the cultural histories of Native American and First Nation peoples include stories and beliefs about non-human “peoples” in the wild. Many of these descriptions bear a striking resemblance to the hairy, man-like creatures reported today.
These are some of the facts. There is, however, much disagreement as to what they mean.
To many, these facts taken together, suggest the presence of an animal, probably a primate, that exists today in very low population densities. If true, this species, having likely evolved alongside humans, became astonishingly adept at avoiding human contact through a process of natural selection.
To others, these same facts point to a cultural phenomenon kept alive today though a combination of misidentification of known animals, wishful thinking, and the deliberate fabrication of evidence.
The BFRO and its members take the former view.
Their website is really interesting and I really like the pictures of Bigfoot. They remind me of Chewbacca in “Star Wars.” I am not going to try to debunk these people’s beliefs. The bottom line is that we just don’t know that Bigfoot truly exists. However, given the BFRO’s stance on this, it seems to me that Bigfoot is pretty smart and has done a damned good job of protecting himself from us humanoids and doesn’t need to be on anybody’s list. I think we should just leave him alone. He and his kinfolk obviously don’t want anything to with us – another indication of their intelligence -- as they appear to understand us as the dangerous animals that we are and keep their distance. Y'all know that if someone discovers his whereabouts, some hunter types are gonna want to shoot him, stuff him. and hang him over the mantel. Not a nice thing to do to Chewy.
Hmmmmmmmmm . . . maybe Mike Lake isn’t as wacko as I thought.